Monday, March 30, 2009
I have been thinking a lot today and last night about Cheyennes grandparents. Adams parents blame me for what happened to Cheyenne. They think that the depression medication I took while I was pregnant is to blame for her problems. Medical science has already proved that the medication was not the problem. That medicine was prescribed to me by Cheyennes doctor because it is safe for unborn babies. But the fact that we don't really know what caused Cheyennes strokes before birth, just gives them a reason to blame me for her death. It makes me sad that I am not able to call Adam and his family and talk or hang out because of this preconceived notion that they have. I sent his mom an email last night and told them to talk to the doctors both here and in Grand Rapids about what happened. All of them assured me that there was no way that the medication caused the strokes, or any of her problems for that matter. I even had a care conference with the doctors a few months ago so that we could talk about what happened. Adams parents refused to have a conference. They just said "we don't want to hear it". They claim to be good christian people, but for them to blame another human being for the death of her daughter is ridiculous. I am thinking about having a talk with their Pastor, the one who helped us with Cheyennes funeral. Maybe he can offer guidance to them. I don't know. The whole situation is just depressing. But I won't let it get me down! I know that God has a plan, and that all things happen for a reason, and I truly do believe that.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I need a place where I could share important events in my life. Where I could talk about the good and bad memories before they slip away. This blog will be centered around my little girl, Cheyenne Elizabeth. The music of my life. The one who makes me dance. The Angel. I miss her so much but I realize that the more I remember her, and memorialize her, she'll never slip away. She will be unforgettable to myself and others. She needs to stay with me in my heart, she needs to keep me strong, just like she has been.